thats graphic

2006-09-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

the computer doth die

I'll be posting again as soon as I have a regular computer at hand. Until then:

I'm signing up for school right now, I can't wait. People like Xola make me want to do something with my life. ( ...if you see negitive, it makes positive, right???)

I really miss my friends, or friend, or whatever. But right now I'm sick in the soul and don't want to put that off on people I love. I need some Keri time to figure out what I am actually living for.

My lil'op went fine, painful, but fine. And hopefully everything is over with and I will have a good ol'normal pap next.

I got tested for H.I.V and so did Mark. We want closer. (Oh, and 2 others. It was a package deal. Weee.)

I'm listening to Freur every day on loop.

I really miss friends.

It's been 3 weeks since I've had a drink and I'm doing a detox at the end of the month.

I might go bowling tonight.

2006-09-02T14:20:00.000-07:00

Puffy Pink Nipples

"He who knows nothing, loves nothing. He who can do nothing, understands nothing.

He who understands nothing, is worthless.

But he who understands, also lives, notices, sees.

The more knowledge is inherent in a thing, the greater the love...

Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberrys knows nothing about grapes."

- Paracelsus

Moab was great. It refreshed my senses and health. No drinking for the following month and I have begun taking liquid cal/mag/zinc. I'm coming close to my proceedure and all will go fine. I can't write much right now, but I do want to write how much I appreciate those who support me in my life. Not for any real reason of their support... just love and respect. Brook, your a great little discovery and I appreciate your words. Mark, you mean more to me then I think you even know. I will always love you and be there as long as you can stand it. I have so much respect for all those "aquantances" I seem to have in my life: your smiles enhance my own.

Pictures and words later.

2006-08-24T02:50:00.000-07:00

The Art Of Living.

Hi. First of all, you are fat. You are ugly. Your breath stinks. You are unpopular. You are not witty. You are not smart. You are stupid. You are nothing. You have low self-esteem. You have cellulite. You have blackheads. Your teeth are not white enough. -adbusters

green things ring softer and
more solid then subduded
reds and my green songs seem
longer then stronged waters.

p.s. " Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately when they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish. " -Hermann Hesse

2006-08-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

People Read This Shit?

Come to find out, they do...

Quick update while my clothes for the evening are washing and drying:

September 5 is when I get my pro-ceeeeee-dure. And yes, they did call it an "electrical prod"

(apparently I'm a dairy producing, domesticated moo animal)

This coming thursday Cracker for free at the Gailivan.

Im kinda in love with this kid named Mark, but don't tell him. (i think he might be in a relationship)

I enjoying swimming alot, e-specially when hand puppets are in the scene.

My dog is swimming.

I'm going to ride a bike momentarlly to get some sex for a friend, if she'd answer her phone.

I don't know why anyone would read this.

more to come!

2006-08-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

I seriously have the coolest phone. It was free... yep.

Samsung Sprint Power Vision a900, hardshell: Black. Yes motherfuckers, I think I just might call him Mustang. (Or something alike.) As Gizmodo puts it:

"Samsung phonemeisters have been busy little bees these past few months, and the fruits of their labor now culminate in these two Sprint Power Vision phones, the MM-A920 and the MM-A900. Both use "broadband-like" speeds to let you get news, music and video. The services now offered on these phones include the recently announced Sprint Music Store, which lets you download songs directly to the phones, and includes 30 channels of live and on-demand video and audio from Sprint TV and On Demand, a personalized resource guide to news, traffic, weather, sports and entertainment. The MM-A920 has an embedded music player and music navigation controls as well as an expansion slot for up to 512MB of TRANSflash memory. The MM-A900 makes its mark by being just over a half-inch thick and extremely lightweight. It includes stereo speakers and a large display. Both phones have a 1.3-megapixel camera, Bluetooth and phone-as-modem capabilities. Both will retail for $349."

Thank god I lost my previous phone. It's way better and did I mention free? Well, I supose in a sense it's free. I had to sign up for another 2 year contract. Eh. Whatever. Since I am a complete moron and lose everything, this one will have insurance and I wont take it on little adventures to the bar, where I never use it anyhow.

...maybe.

...It has the best camera ever! Who will be the one taking all the pictures if Mustang isn't out and about?!

I'll just have to be more careful this time around.

Not only does this phone have a camera 100 percent better then my other it also has a camcorder which comes with audio. Pla-dow! I'm a fucking freak. Any opportunity to show my skills in phone photography, all over it!:

Example:

2006-08-07T00:14:00.000-07:00

sometimespeoplejustsaytherightthings.

2006-08-02T00:02:00.000-07:00

dirty words are fun Prt: 2
Friend of mine living in Montreal, suggested slapping peanut butter across my anus. I wrote to her wondering if personality is half the battle. "Have personality!," I wrote. "Perhaps its too late for me to get one, but I can at least advise the future generations; sticking your toes in water and then nipples to an electrical outlet is much more cum gripping. She wrote back, "Is that an old Warhol thing?" ...thus, I replied, "You silly bitch, how can you possibly strangle every last drop of your transparent juice from that amazing pink with your asinine suggestion?!"Tickle my fancy with a dog slobbering his calorific substaince all over my fanny. No thankyou. I perfer a suction tube slid through that sweaty orifice so that it may (If the pressure is right) catch one of my intenstines sending a bolt of somatic sensation into my ovaries

2006-08-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

realistically speaking
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Embracing what life has to give means surrendering to what is and learning the larger lesson. The happiest people I know are the people that don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the most of everything that comes along their way."It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."

2006-08-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

dirty words are fun Prt: 1
I'm no street performer. I want a tummy full of greasy chicken so I can lube up your urethra. I want to get shipped off to a nursing home and shit myself as the doctors add tubes and wires to my body in hopes of preserving my suffering for as long as humanly possible. I want them to pump my mouth full of their synthetic Jesus juice in an attempt to resuscitate me with electrical shocks to my clitoris.

2006-08-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

formulated to protect the colors in your clothing from fading
My lips taste what life provides, I feel inside it's bittersweet nectar... nurtures to make me powerful.I cross my fingers day to day in hopes to find my way. Is there such a thing as destiny. Not only a certain soul mate(S) out there but is there a road that is meant for each person? I suppose not. It would be great to think that everything happens for a reason but life could change just as quick. I won't figure it out. Thats fine and if I figure it out I'll be sure to try my hardest and scream all the answers. What would you do differently if you knew? Would that be better? Best wishes fucker, here... I woke up weird. I know. I woke up to the spring rain and freaked the shit out. Threw on dirty smoked clothes and rode out in the rain while Mark slept. It was childish. All the typical that you'd see in an after school special. Puddles and all. Green things tend to ring softer and make more solid than subdued reds. My watered down war from this mourning. Green songs seem longer than head strong watered down red ramblings. Diluted to diffuse those with their lacks of honesty. My green streams can be darker then the blue ones. They carry healing gleams of light in spite of the possibility of drowning. Dear grand papa,Hi.I miss you.Sometimes I hope that you can hear me; most of the time I thinking how much you'd be in all your disappointments if you could see me. Our ideals are different. I know. I try to think of you in nonchalance. It makes me mournful to think of you as actually dead and not just, oh... say, in another town... away. You were dead before you died. I think thats when I started my pretending. For some reason, the only memory that I stick to, even though there are so many we shared, was us riding around in that high school parking lot next to your house. You on top of your tens speed and me on uncle Cordell's old banana seated schwin. We'd ride in circles forever making up song lyrics. So much closer to you then. I always respected you more then any man in my life. How comforting that trust was. Thank you for showing me so much from your life and the values I will always keep with me. You are amazing. Grandma misses you. And pa?? Don't worry... I wont let this lustful feeding frenzy of corrupted money hungry war yearning shield of fake laughter and freedoms smog my open mind with chewed pollutions. And even if we didn't agree on certain things, know that I am strong because I wont conform to others opinions on what life should and shouldn't be. I'm me and I'm content with that.

2006-08-01T23:50:00.000-07:00

I Think:

What makes people "cooler" than one another? For the first time I felt outcast.I __WAS__ drinking. I've never once been bothered by a person in my circle that wasn't drinking. I was left to defend. "AA" was brought up.

I love people.

Truly.

It was bred in me to know people... I think.

I walk sometimes in thought of being in those spots. I tickles me pink. It grabs me.
Some people I can talk my way through their lives, easily. Others.... a life time. I promise.

Geee-tars are fun. They make life more impotant. Mark, make mines. comma.

2006-07-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to say right now. Noone will ever see this. But soon I'll be a blogging guru.

that is all.